Safe Anger Techniques
Anger is a weapon
requiring maximum control, and anger techniques are
like shooting techniques learned in shooting classes. Getting angry is much easier than calming down, taking a shorter time and
having a longer effect, hopefully the required one if mastered properly. This is
done by knowing both how to get angry and control anger.
I. Getting Angry
We can get angry physically, by voluntary tension, pain, speed, and sense stimulation. When
available, sense stimulation is the safest physical anger technique, sparing us
the use of other dangerous anger "weapons." Pain, tension and speed, all take
time to allow the body to get back to its calm mode again.
- Stiffening up muscles: teeth-gritting, shadow-boxing, palm-punching,
- Safe & slight pain: pinching, scratching, slapping, punching, etc. Or
ignoring involuntary pain: fatigue, hunger, sleep deprivation ...
- Fast movement: whole body running/jumping, or moving a body part fast, e.g.
- Sense stimulation: exposure to loud/high-pitch sounds, excessive light, cold water,
strong smells, sour tastes ...
- Verbal stimulation: repeating a provocative mantra; talking with more force, volume or even slang/non-sense, for releasing locked
We can get angry mentally by evoking angry thoughts:
- Harsh self-criticism: taking responsibility for one's mistakes.
- Craving for something one deserves but cannot have.
- Thinking of what one believes but cannot express.
- Remembering an injustice one suffers, esp. after trying all
peaceful means to correct it.
- Remembering one's previous angry moments that led to a positive change.
- Focusing on the damaging consequences one will face, if an action is not taken fast.
- Remembering the shortness of life and previous lost opportunities or those
that will be lost if one remains calm.
II. Controlling Anger
Since anger can get out of control, like a car without driver, causing more
harm than good, it's better curbed by avoidance/escape/solitude/stillness/silence/mantras/self-confidence/last-minute calmness
Thus it's better to be:
- Short: The longer the anger fit, the more the damage.
- Mental: Angry mind, calm body.
- Hidden: Not/partially shown to others.
- Focused/Still/Slow: Not while doing/thinking of other things, e.g. while moving fast, as speed can cause accidents
multiplying the damage of anger. One should slow down esp. while doing
a critical job requiring focus.
- Solitary: While we are alone, not with others. When people see you
angry they can't tell how angry you really are, or what you are going to do
next; so they expect the worst and start to use their own defense mechanisms too.
- Personal: Anger can be turned inward, directed toward ourselves before we direct
it toward others, even if others are wrong, as "self-anger" allows us a last
chance to think, to avoid, minimize, or prepare for confrontation.
- Diverted: We can curb anger by transferring some of it toward
words/movements/etc. e.g. interjections, mantras, meaningless words/sounds, or
a safe slang rightfully breaking taboos.
- Exhaled: Ranting can be curbed by slowing, muffling, or
exhaling which is naturally relieving. Even during an unstoppable
utterance, the sound "h," alone or combined with/aspirating other sounds, is
relaxing. Voiceless sounds are more relaxing than voiced ones.
- Fake: A person can "fake" anger, while he/she is calm inside, if others
need to see him/her angry to get the point. This requires a great skill, as
fake anger can easily turn into real one.
- Confident: Finally, we express our anger confidently, not hesitantly, when we
to show our anger, like holding a "weapon" firmly, metaphorically
Physical/verbal aggression toward people/objects is a common face of uncontrolled anger, mostly leading to irreparable physical/emotional/mental damage,
e.g. accident, assault, insult, falsehood, etc. where safety, dignity & truth are sacrificed.
Some ignorantly use anger, over-trusting its benefits, while others use it
out of weakness, intentionally showing power by afflicting
harm on others: bullying, insulting and cussing.
Good Body Tension
The Power of Calmness
Mastering Calmness Hormones