Safe Anger Techniques


Anger is a weapon requiring maximum control, and anger techniques are like shooting techniques learned in shooting classes. Getting angry is much easier than calming down, taking a shorter time and having a longer effect, hopefully the required one if mastered properly. This is done by knowing both how to get angry and control anger.


I. Getting Angry

We can get angry physically, by voluntary tension, pain, speed, and sense stimulation. When available, sense stimulation is the safest physical anger technique, sparing us the use of other dangerous anger "weapons." Pain, tension and speed, all take time to allow the body to get back to its calm mode again.

  • Stiffening up muscles: teeth-gritting, shadow-boxing, palm-punching, abs-tightening ...
  • Safe & slight pain: pinching, scratching, slapping, punching, etc. Or ignoring involuntary pain: fatigue, hunger, sleep deprivation ...
  • Fast movement: whole body running/jumping, or moving a body part fast, e.g. hands/legs.
  • Sense stimulation: exposure to loud/high-pitch sounds, excessive light, cold water, strong smells, sour tastes ...
  • Verbal stimulation: repeating a provocative mantra; talking with more force, volume or even slang/non-sense, for releasing locked energy.

We can get angry mentally by evoking angry thoughts:

  • Harsh self-criticism: taking responsibility for one's mistakes.
  • Craving for something one deserves but cannot have.
  • Thinking of what one believes but cannot express.
  • Remembering an injustice one suffers, esp. after trying all peaceful means to correct it.
  • Remembering one's previous angry moments that led to a positive change.
  • Focusing on the damaging consequences one will face, if an action is not taken fast.
  • Remembering the shortness of life and previous lost opportunities or those that will be lost if one remains calm.


II. Controlling Anger

Since anger can get out of control, like a car without driver, causing more harm than good, it's better curbed by avoidance/escape/solitude/stillness/silence/mantras/self-confidence/last-minute calmness ... Thus it's better to be:

  • Short: The longer the anger fit, the more the damage.
  • Mental: Angry mind, calm body.
  • Hidden: Not/partially shown to others.
  • Focused/Still/Slow: Not while doing/thinking of other things, e.g. while moving fast, as speed can cause accidents multiplying the damage of anger. One should slow down esp. while doing a critical job requiring focus.
  • Solitary: While we are alone, not with others. When people see you angry they can't tell how angry you really are, or what you are going to do next; so they expect the worst and start to use their own defense mechanisms too.
  • Personal: Anger can be turned inward, directed toward ourselves before we direct it toward others, even if others are wrong, as "self-anger" allows us a last chance to think, to avoid, minimize, or prepare for confrontation.
  • Diverted: We can curb anger by transferring some of it toward words/movements/etc. e.g. interjections, mantras, meaningless words/sounds, or a safe slang rightfully breaking taboos.
    • Exhaled: Ranting can be curbed by slowing, muffling, or deep/repetitive exhaling which is naturally relieving. Even during an unstoppable utterance, the sound "h," alone or combined with/aspirating other sounds, is relaxing. Voiceless sounds are more relaxing than voiced ones.
  • Fake: A person can "fake" anger, while he/she is calm inside, if others need to see him/her angry to get the point. This requires a great skill, as fake anger can easily turn into real one.
  • Confident: Finally, we express our anger confidently, not hesitantly, when we inevitably decide to show our anger, like holding a "weapon" firmly, metaphorically speaking.

Physical/verbal aggression toward people/objects is a common face of uncontrolled anger, mostly leading to irreparable physical/emotional/mental damage, e.g. accident, assault, insult, falsehood, etc. where safety, dignity & truth are sacrificed. Some ignorantly use anger, over-trusting its benefits, while others use it out of weakness, intentionally showing power by afflicting harm on others: bullying, insulting and cussing.


Good Body Tension

The Power of Calmness

Mastering Calmness Hormones